Last week we celebrated 11 years together. Later this summer, we will celebrate 10 years of marriage. It's incredible how time flies, isn't it? I can say with complete honesty that Chris is no longer the man I married. He's gotten better with age.
I'm a child of divorced parents. It's always been hard for me to imagine two people staying in love for decades. People change. They grow apart, they grow bored. I'm amazed that after all these years, we don't fall into any of those categories.
For the last two months, my husband has done all the housework, grocery shopping, and cooking. He's taken care of me, our daughter and the dogs while working extra hours. And he's never complained. Not once. Instead, he did his best to find time to bake cookies, do science experiments and play chess with Grace. Even now that I'm done with bed rest, he insists on taking on the brunt of the work. Chris has become the most incredible husband and father, more than I deserve. I love and appreciate him every day, I do my best to make sure he knows it. I am so blessed to have this beautiful family.
We spent yesterday celebrating Chris' grandma's 90th birthday. Maxine and Francis have been married for 70 years. Talk about a loving marriage. After all these years, they are still very much in love. Their easy chairs are close enough to comfortably hold hands. Fran pushes Maxine around in her wheelchair, helps her bathe, makes sure her oxygen tank is full. Maxine can't keep her eyes off of him, she always reaches out to caress her husband. She looks at him with such love and admiration, it makes you jealous.
I hope that one day, this will be me and Chris. That our love will continue to deepen. I hope we always hold hands.
Three days back at work. My body is worn out. It hurts as if I've run a marathon. My abdomen feels as though I've done 100 crunches. My joints ache. Today, I passed out on the couch for three hours when I got home. Isn't that pathetic? Luckily for me, tomorrow is my day off. I don't intend to do anything but rest. Maybe bake a batch of Monster Cookies, but nothing too taxing. Tonight I made an easy supper of Bubble Up Pizza. It was pretty dang good, just needs a tad more sauce next time. It was the perfect meal for me to whip up, so very simple and yummy.
What I really wish I could do is exercise. I had been doing some gentle yoga sequences last week, but I started getting Braxton Hicks. Now that I'm back at work, the contractions have gotten worse. I don't feel safe doing anything more than stretches. Which are so amazing for my back and legs. When I was pregnant with G, I would walk for hours every day. It's astounding how different pregnancies can be, isn't it? My pregnancies are almost polar opposites. Chris has made it very clear this will our last baby. He's convinced I wouldn't survive another. Sad, but he's probably right. I'm just going to continue getting older, and my chances of complications are just going to keep getting higher. I choose to never say never.
Lately, I've been listening to Worn by Tenth Avenue North. "I'm worn, even before the day begins. Yes, I'm worn I've lost my will to fight. I'm worn, so heaven come and flood my eyes." It speaks to me.
Anyways. It's time for me to catch up on Elementary. Jonny Lee Miller is one of my favorite Sherlocks. Cross your fingers I don't eat all the cookies tomorrow!!!
First day back at work! After 2 1/2 hours, I was forced to concede that Chris and the doctor were correct. I am not in any shape to work full time. I had a whopper of a contraction! And I've had quite a few small ones since coming home.
To be safe, I've been taking it easy. I did some stretches, but nothing intense. Just light moves to relieve back and leg pain. My plan was to bake this delicious looking chocolate cake when I got home, but it is definitely more than I can handle right now. I hate having to admit that. Baking a cake is too much work for my body right now.
But that's alright. I have nice, easy dinner planned that should be simple enough for Chris to make if I don't feel up to it. It has macaroni noodles and cheese, so I know my two nerds are going to love it. It doesn't take much to make them happy. Last night, they had fun with science experiments. I have no idea what they were doing, but they were burning things to see what colors the flames would turn. It was pretty cute listening to Grace yammer on about sodium and oxygen and the periodic table. It was all foreign to me!
Hopefully this week will continue to be a smooth return to my regular daily routine. I'm now fully aware of my body's need for rest. If I'm really lucky, that cake will be in my tummy by the end of the week!
FREEDOM!!! Ok, mostly freedom. Little man has moved off of my cervix, and today, the doctor gave me the go ahead to return to work on Monday. It's only part time, I can only work up to four hours, but that's better than nothing!
Chris isn't happy about it. He worries. A lot. If he could keep me in a plastic bubble, he would. I have graciously accepted his work restrictions. I am only allowed to vacuum, fold laundry and wipe counters. We will discuss cooking/baking on a case by case basis. I love that man. I love that he worries and fusses over me. He's pretty spectacular.
In celebration, I ordered seeds for the garden. This year, we plan on doing a lot of canning, preserving and freezing. We choose to grow non GMO produce. This is the second time I've order from this farm. I am itching to start growing!
Overall, it was a good day. Yes, there's still a chance baby boy will make an early escape. But I simply refuse to spend my day worry about something that may or may not happen. I will take it easy, relax, and not over do it. Whatever happens, happens. All we can do is pray and hope.
It's almost Thursday. Chris still says I'm going to be kept on bed rest, but he very well could be wrong. At this point, I'd be happy with modified bed rest. At least I would have a little more freedom. The baby would probably really enjoy a yoga session right now.
Monday was a rather lovely day for me and Grace. We watched Lemony Snicket, we did some knitting, made play doh ice cream, and she painted me lovely pictures. There was even some quiet reading time. Grace helped me make breakfast and lunch, and ate her weight in fruits and veggies for snacks. I wish I could've been more involved and hands-on, but oh well. We had a wonderful day together, that's all that matters.
Tonight, I'm going to have Chris haul my sewing machine upstairs. There's a headband I want to make G, and also some hair rollers. No, seriously. How cute are those?! They look really simple and quick. I have all the required supplies. The only problem I forsee is being able to sit in a chair long enough to sew them all. I may have to do a few here and there. I can't sit upright for very long. It gives me horrible abdominal cramps. I usually don't even eat at the dinner table.
I will give it a whirl, if it's too painful, it can always wait until I no longer get cramps. Or until the baby arrives, whatever happens first! For now I have my knitting, and cross stitching. It's enough.
This was a pretty great week. On Thursday, my lovely friend, Anne, stopped by for a visit. She brought lunch, cookies, crafts, books and dinner! We spent a few hours chatting and laughing, it was wonderful. Last night the Bells stopped by with more laughter and bright moments. Faye and I knitted the night away while she planned my baby shower.
It was great to spend time with amazing people. Our hearts were lightened. Hopefully, this week will be as nice. On Thursday I have another ultrasound. Chris told me it's time to accept the fact that I'll probably spend a few more weeks on bed rest. I know he's right. I can barely sit up right, let alone stand or walk for more than a few minutes. But I can hope.
Tomorrow Grace will be home with me. Poor kid. I wish we could go paint pottery or bake cookies. Hell, I'd be happy to simply sit at the table and do puzzles. Maybe we can play battleship, or knit and watch a movie. Grace will most likely end up taking care of me. She is such a wonderful helper.
Here's hoping for good news at the doctor!
The bed rest continues! It's insanely boring. I do my exercises, (this lady doesn't want blood clots) I knit, watch Netflix and read. All day. Every day. Wash, rinse, repeat. I watch helplessly as my husband does everything. Work, cook, laundry, chores, take of G and the dogs. I can't help with any of it. Oh, wait, I can fold laundry. I fold the hell out of it, too!
Went to the doctor on Friday. We were informed that if baby is born between 22 and 26 weeks, (I'm 21 weeks now)baby has a chance of surviving. But. Baby could be born just fine, in need of lots of care but otherwise ok,or he could be born with serious health issues. Like severe brain hemorrhaging. The doctor wants us prepared. She wants us to discuss how far we want the medical staff to go in order to try and save our baby.
Chris is overwhelmed. He's a tad broken, we both are. It's one thing knowing that I'm at risk for preterm labor. It's one thing knowing that we could lose the baby. It's a whole other kind of devastation having to seriously talk about the possible death of our child. And being the one to make that choice. Under what circumstances are we willing to fight for our son's life, and what will make us say, "Let it be." Let him rest.
We are hoping for the best, but we are not ignorant of the worst. We continue to hope, we continue to put our faith in Him. I remain ever hopeful that all will be well in the end.
